Hands Down The Funniest Thing EVER!

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HELL yeah!

I knew something big was coming but I had no idea it would be THIS big! Then again, I forgot I was dealing with an all-powerful Deity.

Mr. Deity, that is!

The signs and portents fortold of its coming. The time is near at hand.

To whet our appetites we've been blessed with the following trailer for the upcoming Frost/Nixon parodying, Larry/Deity.

And.

It's.

EPIC !!



The Mr. Deity team are getting set to roll out episodes of Larry/Deity soon along with a new season of Mr. Deity (and its charming jingle - da dadala dee deedle lee...) And as if we weren't spoiled enough already there's still more episodes of Words to come.

It's shaping up to be another best year ever folks!

Coming Soon...

The most anticipated action blockbuster franchise ever:



Gotta hand it to the producers. They certainly know their target demographic.

The Dream with Roy and H.G.

If ever you were curious about the affinity Aussies have with bullsh*tting you need look no further than radio and TV personalities "Rampaging" Roy Slaven and H.G. Nelson.

Roy & H.G. fancy themselves sports pundits, so when Sydney hosted the Olympics in 2000 most of Australia tuned in to The Dream, a late night recap of the day's highlights and behind the scenes goings on. If the games during the day were the show, then these two lovable larrikins were the after show party.

Lets look at a sample of the typical studio banter, in this instance dealing with the friendly rivalry between Australia and New Zealand.
(NOTE: A running gag throughout the course of The Dream's Olympics coverage was to parody the media's overuse of the word "tilt" - as used to describe a team or country's sporting effort - by using and abusing the term as often as possible.)




For the gymnastics commentary the lads created their own lingo for the moves on display, which enhanced the entertainment value of the sport tenfold. After viewing this you'll never be lost for what to call gymnastics moves ever again.




And to bring it home, who could forget Eric "The Eel" Moussambani, the 100m freestyle swimmer from Equatorial Guinnea who was immortalised when having to run his heat solo following the disqualification of his competitors? Poor Eric had trained long and hard for the Equatorial Guinnean tilt in a 20m hotel swimming pool. And it showed. Go Eric!

Nutty

(**CRUDE LANGUAGE WARNING**)

(**CONTINUE AT OWN RISK**)

Whilst trying to stave off the ravages of insanity I happened across this the other day:




Upon viewing my misfiring brain lit up with pleasure impulses. Sanity was restored. Who would have thought a "fight fire with fire" approach would work under these circumstances?




Sometimes simple is best:



I just wish that was on an endless loop. I'd laugh myself right into an oxygen starvation headache, followed by a brief refreshing coma.

MST3K Is My Bag, Baby

A humble temp worker is shot into space by a mad scientist with plans for world domination. There, aboard his Satellite of Love, he and his robot creations are forced to watch bad movies as part of a nefarious experiment to determine which Z-grade stinkaroo will be rotten enough to force the masses into submission.

It's a Z-grade premise for a show about making fun of Z-grade films. The show? Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K for those with next to no lung capacity).

MST3K had a long TV run, cracking wise for about 10 years at the most godawful movies you wouldn't otherwise have seen. Heck, they even got to make a feature film!

But their time is done now. No more MST3K with Joel or Mike and their robot companions. Wait a minute. They're still going strong?

Not as MST3K, but reincarnated from the ashes as Rifftrax and Cinematic Titanic. Go team!

Rifftrax features Mike, Kevin, Bill and a variety of guests (Neil Patrick Harris, Chad Vader...) riffing all the popular movies they couldn't afford to do on TV, by recording mp3 audio you sync up to the dvd. A brilliant idea, and not as hard to do as it sounds. Weren't so crash on George's Star Wars prequels? Download the Rifftrax and you'll laugh your ass off from Trade Federation invasion to twin separation.

Cinematic Titanic is pretty much everyone else from the show riffin' it old school. Silhouettes in front of a movie screen.

As good as those are, there's still plenty of nostalgia the original format. Joel/Mike, Tom Servo and Croooooow! Huddled in the darkness of their own personal theater, in orbit hundreds of kilometers above the earth. Putting words into the mouthes of some pantywaste character or another. Or commenting on their actions, the plot, scenery. Ridiculing the hackneyed tropes.

Seems someone out there in YouTube land loved it so much they went to the effort of making new fun-sized episodes by inserting old riffs into new clips in all the right places. With ten years of riffs to choose from there's no shortage of zingers that fit and you'd be surprised just how well it comes off!

A couple of examples:

Interview With The Vampire




House




Dark Shadows




Smallville




What do you think, sirs?

Best. Review. EVER!

Once again we're giving the censors a headache.

Follows: 1 review of the computer game X3: Reunion.

Why? You'll know it when you see it.

Ooh, burrrn!

Don't you just love it when someone who deserves it gets smacked down, hard? I know I do.

We've talked about Chris Leavins here before. If you remember he runs a web show called Cute With Chris where he invites people to share images of cute animals. What makes the show work is how sardonic Chris is, having to deal with so many animal nuts every day, flooding his inbox. They love it, and you can tell underneath he enjoys himself too. If nothing else it provides a good platform for his wry comic wit.

Chris has also been known to use his platform to illustrate how lame song lyrics can be. Case in point:



All in good fun as you can see, but someone decided that it might be more fun to start a flame war over this little skit.

Baaad idea.

Here's how Chris handles it. I hope you've been to the bathroom before watching this...



Check and mate! Suck it, Tonya!

And that's just one of many well deserved, beautifully executed smack-downs Chris has dispensed in the history of the show. Might be a while before I post the next in this series so go check them out for yourself if you're just itching for more carnage.

Part 2 of this post is something a little more serious, so if you're not in the mood for that come back later when you are ready. It deals with those deluded conspiracy nuts, the 9/11 "Truthers"(ie. deniers).

You've probably heard of their pseudo-documentary Loose Change. I just recently got through watching a point by point rebuttal that uses logic and evidence to shine a light on their so-called truth, dismantling their arguments one by one and showing them for the intellectual lightweights they happen to be.

Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with asking questions when you have some doubts, but when the answers plainly show you what, how and why, time and time again, the proper thing to do is correct your thinking and be wiser for it.

Not so with conspiracy nuts. They've built their lives around this fallacy to the point where they can't concede a thing, lest they have to admit to themselves what fools they've been. Instead, they maintain their poorly plotted course, revealing them to be even bigger fools.

Personally, I find their crusade to be sick. What they are doing is insulting to the memory of those so tragically lost and the ones who mourn them.

You might want to store this one away for when you have a few hours to go through it, or alternatively search it out on Google Video and go through its 20 parts bit by bit when you have the time.

I'll leave you with the close to 3 hour embedded video and the words of Brian Dunning: "Always remember: Separate pieces of poor evidence don't aggregate together into a single piece of good evidence. You can stack cowpies as high as you want, but they won't turn into a bar of gold."

The aptly titled, Screw Loose Change :



Sorry if that made things a little too serious for you. I know! Backtrack up to the first half of this entry and go visit Chris and his array of puppies and kittens. I promise you'll be smiling again in no time!

One Way To Bypass Censorship Regulations...

One of the more uneven sketch comedy shows on Australian TV was Comedy Inc. The few pieces of it I saw you'd more often groan as laugh out loud. But there was one thing I caught that made me howl. It was this little stroke of inspired genius - a one trick pony, sure, but damn if I didn't scratch my head wondering how someone let them get away with it!

Depending on how you look at it - foul language might be an issue for the more sensitive among you.

Lets Start A Family!

That's right. Today we're talking about children. Love them or hate them, they're here to stay. Even after the ones you're familiar with decide to outgrow their smallish, ignorant stage by entering a more socially acceptable largish, ignorant stage, more children have an uncanny knack of arriving on the scene.

What is the role of children, you ask? Do they serve some purpose? The answer is, of course, no. There is nothing children can do that adults can't do better. So why would people choose to raise families to begin with? Is there perhaps some secondary benefit to be gained by starting a family?

This time, you've hit upon it. Yes - as a tax break.

Children are the Isle of Man of living, breathing tax havens. Clothe them, feed them, buy them each a television and with the remaining money you've saved you'll be able to afford more globe-trotting holidays than there are holiday destinations for! Granted, some of these you'll be expected to spend at Disneyland, but if you've shelled out for a half-decent nanny all you really need do is see them off at the airport.

A word of warning though. It isn't all peaches and cream. Sometimes children ask questions. Not just a few questions, either. Roughly 2.7 million questions. That's per day. You know how the internet can be really slow at times? ...Parents. Endlessly looking up answers to questions.

Again. Nanny. I recommend a live-in.

Now, a word of advice to those of you who want to have children but don't have much income and would therefore not yield enough of a tax benefit to make it worth your while. Scrape together what little money you can and go see a good therapist. You have a tendency toward self-destructive behavior. Work it out. I'm pulling for you.

At least, that's what the postcard I send you from Monaco will say.

Finally Everything Makes Sense

Pretty much one of the worst tortures you can inflict on a lover of music is to record a song where the listener has no hope of figuring out the lyrics on their own. If I want to sing along you damn well better let me do so without making a fool of myself, by supplying a lyric sheet along with the album. That way when I listen to Summer of '69 I don't end up getting laughed down by all my friends during that verse when Brian Adams's girlfriend stands on her mamma's Porche proclaiming she would wait forever.

Funny thing how our minds feel compelled to fill in the blanks. We can't just say, "I dunno, it's unclear. Ask again later." We say, "Sounds like this. I'll just go with it until somebody offers a better fit."

And so, people rightly decide that we are none too smart.

...I like songs.

Words 2: Twice the hilarity with only half the heart!

Just when I was seriously thinking about taking Levitude off mission and posting about some of the more meaty issues that have been playing on my mind of late, Brian Keith Dalton and the Mr. Deity crew went and uploaded the latest episode of their new comedy series Words on YouTube.

Sometimes you just need to sit back and have a good laugh to ease the pressure. Maybe if Tim had seen this it might have made all the difference.

It's Just Such A Great Impression

Tom Cruise. The man. The legend. The cock-block.

A cautionary tale for anyone thinking it'd be cool to have Tom Cruise crash their party.

Tom Cruise Is a Cock-Block - watch more funny videos

What a cock-block! After that there'd be no letting Tom Cruise back into your life. Lesson learned, right? WRONG!

Tom Cruise Is a Cock-Block 2 - watch more funny videos

This does not bode well for our scruffy hero. Has Tom Cruise destroyed a beautiful friendship? Won't someone put an end to his cock-blocking ways?

Tom Cruise Is A Cock-Block (Part 3) - watch more funny videos

So. All's well that ends well... I guess.

Killer impression.

High Five!

You gotta love Improv Everywhere. Their mission in life? To create scenes. Not so much the candid camera "ha! We totally had you messing your drawers" type of scenes, but more the "weird! what was that all about?" type scenes. I like that. It gives folks who have witnessed one of their 'missions' amusing anecdotes to share.

Their missions are many and varied and are always a fun view or read. If you've traipsed around the internet video sites long enough you've undoubtedly seen something of theirs. The annual New York Subway 'No Pants Day' is one of their brainchilds. What started out a few years ago as just a handful of 'agents' baffling the morning commuters by riding the train in their underwear for no good reason and having no idea why those other people were coincidentally riding sans-pants has now exploded into thousands of participants making it a major annual event.

For their latest mission they've scaled things back to something simple and fun for morning commuters. It's nice, feel good missions like this that are the very essence of Improv Everywhere.



And if you're not caught up on their past missions you will find them all at the Improv Everywhere website. Some are so good they'll make you cry tears of joy.

Oh, I almost forgot. For those of you who are also extraverts, Improv Everywhere has created a site for you to organise similar missions in your own part of the world. Check out Urban Prankster.

Science Part. 1

Yawn, right?

Science is dull, dull, dull.

You can't make the Periodic Table of Elements fun, I don't care how much clown makeup you slap on it.

Or can you...?

Okay, sorry I used that clichéd device. I hate myself for it almost as much as you do right now. I promise it won't happen again.

Or will it...?

I'm not too proud to go on record as saying "science is hard." I don't have a head for it but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate it. Why does it have to be so effing hard? Probably because it seeks to quantify how everything in existence actually works. You try explaining precisely why the sun is hot and just how hot is it and see how much accurate detail you can get with laymans terms and a slide rule.

If you're one of those people who hate science with a passion bordering on "Quit Dry-Humping My Leg, Bitch" then you are not alone. Plenty of fruit loops think the world is going to hell in a hand-beaker owing to science and its all-consuming hunger for advancing the quality of life.

Science has given us medicine. So now ignorant a-holes who otherwise wouldn't have lived long enough to complain about how unnatural chemicals are can protest the devastating effect H2O is having on our embattled planet.

It has given us power. So a-holes can boot up their computers and whine online about how it used to be so much better back in the days when wearing filth for weeks at a time was all the rage.

It has given us computers and the internet. So a-holes with computers and internet access can whine about antiscience a-holes who think we would be so much better off living with famine, disease, unsolved murders, warm beer, radios that don't do squat, guns in briefcases on airplanes, the earth being flat, and Steven Spielberg out of a job.

F*ckers.

But can you blame them for their ignorance? In the past Science education managed to do more harm than good. Remember how excited you and your mates would get at the prospect of watching yet another science program detailing all the hip experiments you could do in class?

Me neither.

To jog your memory, they go a little something like this.





But isn't Science also capable of great evil? Like those scientists trying their darnedest to destroy the planet with a Large Hadron Collider, say for example?

In short: nope. Science as a principle isn't evil at all. You might get the odd individual who is capable of evil and chooses to weild knowledge gleaned by science in an inappropriate manner. Like, say, an extremist with a dirty bomb wandering downtown Manhattan. But for the most part the purpose of Science is the persuit of knowledge. And knowlege gives us answers to questions, which helps us solve problems. Problems like: What is the best way to squander billions of dollars in an effort to suck the world as we know it into a black hole?

Actually, that's not what science is trying to do with the LHC and I think you'll find that those doomsday predictions are only being touted by people who are entirely ignorant of the science involved - suprise, surprise.

Just what is the LHC really doing then? Apart from cutting record deals? A good place to get the lowdown is here. If you're curious.

Otherwise just sit back, crack open your favorite beer, and wait for it all to end.

Skippy: A Friend Ever True

Crikey! Is it time to showcase some home grown Aussie humor again?

Must be. So lets talk kangaroos.

Having been born in Australia it makes perfect sense that I would have known a kangaroo or two in my time. Of all the 'roos I've known (more than you can count on one paw) there's one in particular that stands out. That kangaroo is, of course, Skippy.

Skippy the bush kangaroo.

Bush kangaroos are a different breed to your everyday urban variety. For starters they're bloody clueless when it comes to dealing with traffic, lack all the niceties of dinner table etiquette, and if perchance some task requires of them a little fashion sense - well, you can forget about it. But don't make the mistake of writing bush kangas off as complete imbeciles just yet. They can still be resourceful little buggers!

In many ways Skippy is to Australia what Flipper is to America or Doctor Who is to Great Britain, or the Tunguska event is to Russia. Whether it's saving missing children who ill-advisedly go bungee jumping down wells, cleaning up oil spills at sea, saving us from the latest Dalek masterplan to conquer the universe, or matchsticking kilometers of former Soviet Republic real-estate; no job is too big an ask for our be-pouched hero.

Which brings us, inevitably, to THE BIG QUESTION:

Whose arse could Skippy kick?
(NOTE: Being Australian, Skippy has no capacity to kick ass. Only arse.)

In no particular order: Willie Ames, Jean Reno, Shakespeare, Dracula, MacGuyver, Simon & Schuster, Brooke Brodack, Steamboat Willie, Helium, Optimus Prime, Malignant Melanoma, The Wiggles, Stuart Little, Zuul, K C & The Sunshine Band, every last stinking Anti-vaxxer, The Bismark, Marky Mark, The Battle of Waterloo, the combined cast of Dawson's Creek, Shetland, and the red paperclip guy.

We would like to have gauged how well a Skippy vs. Chuck Norris deathmatch would have turned out, believe me, but we had trouble finding Chuck. I guess we may never know.

It just occurred to me, some of you have yet to be introduced to the talents of our national treasure. For your edification:




Okay. Maybe Skippy really isn't all that. In fact, I'm starting to come down off the whole Skippy is the shiz head trip. Know what? Screw that giant hopping rodent! What has Skip done for us lately? Bludging, boozing, cooz-hound he is!



Brings back memories of another show don't it! You know the one. Where they'd make fun of bad shows. I think it was called MST3- ...err, Bargearse!



Sorry. We seem to have gone off on one of those 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon tangent thing-a-majigs and I just can't help myself. I demand a second helping!



Hell, I'd post all the Bargearse eps if it wouldn't make me appear so bloomin' self-indulgent. If you're as tickled as I am then I'm afraid you're going to have to hunt them down for yourself. I'm guessing it'll take you all of oh, say, 12 seconds.

So. Yeah. Uh... Kangaroos. Whatever point I was making I can say with unshakable confidence that I think I proved it. Nerr.

Mash-up Fire Sale

Time for some more trailer shennannigans. I do love me these pretties so very, very much. A variety of talented folk put a lot of time and love into their crafting. If you go looking you'll find plenty of inferior content out there - their downfall is they have continuity that's all over the shop. You really have to work to believe in the premise of those trailers. Not so with these ones. Which is what makes them remarkable in my book and worthy of Levitude top honors.

Turn out the lights and slip into your scaredy pants for our first adventure because Mary is back and boy is she pissed!



You're okay. It's over. The nasty nanny is gone now. Relax. Deep breath in... and out... in... and now lets completely change tack. Maestro? College hi-jinks if you please!




Sinead O'Connor fans, represent!

The same geniuses who gave birth to that channeled lightning into this next monster. For those of you who haven't seen Glengarry Glen Ross beforehand, just know that this brilliantly repurposes the film. Go ahead and pause the blog if you'd like to check out the riveting original first. We'll wait.

WARNING THO: EXTREME LANGUAGE (and I do mean Extreme)



When I think unrestrained foul language I think of kids up to no good. And when I think of kids up to no good, I think Goonies. Which brings us to one of the greatest adventure movies of our time. My momma used to say "Clever is as clever does" and this trailer does clever quite... cleverly.



Finally, not really a trailer per-se but a re-imagined scene. An all-time favorite that I am proud to feature here so that I can watch it over and over and over at leisure. Ladies, Gentlemen, Sith Lords and Sith Ladies, I give you Darth Vader: Dick.

Fluff Piece

With Halloween behind us it's time to exorcise our demons, lock away our Necronomicons, and return to walking in daylight once again. Pretending we live in a Demon Haunted World is fun for a time, but I prefer the real, tangible world any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

I'm sure you know people who believe in a lot of whacky stuff. Maybe you have some whacky beliefs yourself? What's the harm, right? Without getting all serious lets just leave it at "I've seen this kind of thinking make victims of people" and get back to the levitude.

Today we're spotlighting a story that aired as one of those fluff pieces at the end of the "news" and subsequently went viral: The Gas Station Ghost. Only we're paying no attention to the original cut. We're going with the RECUT! version. Because its way funnier.

The original story, as you'll soon figure out if you haven't seen it already, was about a ghost caught on a gas station security cam. It's your typical non-news news story where the reporter lets "you decide." Which is always code for - everything you just saw and heard is complete rubbish but if we came out and said that we wouldn't have a story now would we? *wink*

Anyway, The Gas Station Ghost Recut is the handiwork of a real life superhero who goes by the name Captain Disillusion. Captain D likes to take all sorts of hokey videos on the web and break them down for us, showing how they were faked. It really is an entertaining production for something free to the web. I promise you'll have loads of fun catching up in his channel. I give it 5 bugs. Highly recommended.