Crikey! Is it time to showcase some home grown Aussie humor again?
Must be. So lets talk kangaroos.
Having been born in Australia it makes perfect sense that I would have known a kangaroo or two in my time. Of all the 'roos I've known (more than you can count on one paw) there's one in particular that stands out. That kangaroo is, of course, Skippy.
Skippy the bush kangaroo.
Bush kangaroos are a different breed to your everyday urban variety. For starters they're bloody clueless when it comes to dealing with traffic, lack all the niceties of dinner table etiquette, and if perchance some task requires of them a little fashion sense - well, you can forget about it. But don't make the mistake of writing bush kangas off as complete imbeciles just yet. They can still be resourceful little buggers!
In many ways Skippy is to Australia what Flipper is to America or Doctor Who is to Great Britain, or the Tunguska event is to Russia. Whether it's saving missing children who ill-advisedly go bungee jumping down wells, cleaning up oil spills at sea, saving us from the latest Dalek masterplan to conquer the universe, or matchsticking kilometers of former Soviet Republic real-estate; no job is too big an ask for our be-pouched hero.
Which brings us, inevitably, to THE BIG QUESTION:
Whose arse could Skippy kick?
(NOTE: Being Australian, Skippy has no capacity to kick ass. Only arse.)
In no particular order: Willie Ames, Jean Reno, Shakespeare, Dracula, MacGuyver, Simon & Schuster, Brooke Brodack, Steamboat Willie, Helium, Optimus Prime, Malignant Melanoma, The Wiggles, Stuart Little, Zuul, K C & The Sunshine Band, every last stinking Anti-vaxxer, The Bismark, Marky Mark, The Battle of Waterloo, the combined cast of Dawson's Creek, Shetland, and the red paperclip guy.
We would like to have gauged how well a Skippy vs. Chuck Norris deathmatch would have turned out, believe me, but we had trouble finding Chuck. I guess we may never know.
It just occurred to me, some of you have yet to be introduced to the talents of our national treasure. For your edification:
Okay. Maybe Skippy really isn't all that. In fact, I'm starting to come down off the whole Skippy is the shiz head trip. Know what? Screw that giant hopping rodent! What has Skip done for us lately? Bludging, boozing, cooz-hound he is!
Brings back memories of another show don't it! You know the one. Where they'd make fun of bad shows. I think it was called MST3- ...err, Bargearse!
Sorry. We seem to have gone off on one of those 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon tangent thing-a-majigs and I just can't help myself. I demand a second helping!
Hell, I'd post all the Bargearse eps if it wouldn't make me appear so bloomin' self-indulgent. If you're as tickled as I am then I'm afraid you're going to have to hunt them down for yourself. I'm guessing it'll take you all of oh, say, 12 seconds.
So. Yeah. Uh... Kangaroos. Whatever point I was making I can say with unshakable confidence that I think I proved it. Nerr.
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