Lets Start A Family!

That's right. Today we're talking about children. Love them or hate them, they're here to stay. Even after the ones you're familiar with decide to outgrow their smallish, ignorant stage by entering a more socially acceptable largish, ignorant stage, more children have an uncanny knack of arriving on the scene.

What is the role of children, you ask? Do they serve some purpose? The answer is, of course, no. There is nothing children can do that adults can't do better. So why would people choose to raise families to begin with? Is there perhaps some secondary benefit to be gained by starting a family?

This time, you've hit upon it. Yes - as a tax break.

Children are the Isle of Man of living, breathing tax havens. Clothe them, feed them, buy them each a television and with the remaining money you've saved you'll be able to afford more globe-trotting holidays than there are holiday destinations for! Granted, some of these you'll be expected to spend at Disneyland, but if you've shelled out for a half-decent nanny all you really need do is see them off at the airport.

A word of warning though. It isn't all peaches and cream. Sometimes children ask questions. Not just a few questions, either. Roughly 2.7 million questions. That's per day. You know how the internet can be really slow at times? ...Parents. Endlessly looking up answers to questions.

Again. Nanny. I recommend a live-in.

Now, a word of advice to those of you who want to have children but don't have much income and would therefore not yield enough of a tax benefit to make it worth your while. Scrape together what little money you can and go see a good therapist. You have a tendency toward self-destructive behavior. Work it out. I'm pulling for you.

At least, that's what the postcard I send you from Monaco will say.